How to survive your 4th of July vacation.

Chapter One: Don't take one.

Moving On.

I don't know if you can tell, but that is not a river.  That is a flood plain, flooded to the max, very near the Mississippi River.  We saw a lot of this.

Seriously, I guess the only amazing thing about our quick and dirty trip to inner depths of the state of Alabama is that nothing really eventful happened.  Nobody puked in the car on the 12 hour ride down or back, not even the dog.  No one blew off part of their body playing with fireworks, although the dog did have to tolerate little boys throwing those little pop rock things at him to try and get a reaction.  They were frustratedly not successful as he was too busy panting his little tongue off laying at my feet. (My Uncle-In-Law: "What, is that dog on Quaaludes or something? Dang."

It was also quite amazing that apparently it was actually hotter in Kansas while we were gone than it was in Alabama.  Not more humid, but hotter.  It doesn't get anymore humid than Birmingham, Alabama in July.  And don't say Florida does! Because Florida has a beach and that's where normal people go on vacations, and I don't want to hear about it.

These are flowers from my MIL's garden, that my SIL planted for her which got her some kind of fabulous gardens of Birmingham garden tour award or something. Am jeluz of my SIL's mad gardening skills, but I guess she deserves it since she actually studied and took a test and earned a Master Gardener status, like, God. Over-achieve much? (I already said I'm jealous.)

Southern flower garden, with poodle.  Watch out for the bees, poodle!

Also to be found in Birmingham, is a life size chess game.  My 9 year old nephew totally schooled me on the rules of chess.  Me: Wait, what is that a rook? No, the knight! He moves diagonally, right? What's the horse guy called? Geez it's been a long freakin' time since I played chess. (That's me and my fat leg trying to escape the picture.)

Max would like you to know he's been very, very fucking patient with those kids dropping toys and food on him for the last 12 hours, and when are we going to be home so he can sleep in peace? *Yawn*


Will falls asleep just as we reach the outskirts of Kansas City. Perfect.