In the words of Dave Chappelle, I'm back, beyatch!

Ohhhh, feeling so much better. Still get a little dizzy if I bend over or swivel my head around too fast, but otherwise, all systems normal.  SO NORMAL, in fact, that I thought I'd share with you what went down at my house after the kids got off the bus, in the span of about one hour.

1. I realize at 3:35 that I am still at work, in a meeting that has gone late, and the bus drops the kids off at my driveway at about 3:45. I am at least 20 minutes away. Call neighbor in panic.
2. 3:55 - arrive home, just as my brother and Sister-in-law show up to pick up the old, perfectly fine dishwasher that we had replaced with a nice, new, shiny, stainless steel one. I am taking out the dog. Dog trips me with his leash to get to my SIL, whom he loves because she works for Petco and smells like it. (to him, not to like, everyone.)
3. Drew comes over from neighbor's house, upon seeing all the action in our driveway, freaking out and nearly in tears, because he's been reminded he has a book report due the very next day, that he should have been working on over the winter break. He forgot. He is panicking, big time.
4. Will  comes into the house and begins showing my brother the Nerf gun he got for Christmas. I remind him of the rule: Do not shoot dogs, people, or lighting fixtures.
5. After getting the boys all worked up with the Nerf guns, Bro and SIL leave.
6. Will starts chasing the dog through the kitchen, and then shoots him in the ass with a Nerf bullet. Dog freaks so badly he skates across the hardwood, falls over on his side and slides into my new sofa table like he's sliding into homebase. Table comes crashing down while I scream, and move in slow motion toward the entire scene. I manage to catch the lamp before it hits the floor, but the table is down. It is fine, slightly scratched.
7. Will runs to his room crying and screaming and yelling "I hate you Mommy!"  Because, of course, the whole event was totally my fault.

So yeah, back to normal.  And I'm still posting over at Being Savvy KC, where today I talk about dealing with toddlers and preschoolers, something I am actually quite GOOD AT, because I had lots of TRAINING, but no longer have much use for, and am now flying totally blind with grade schoolers.

Welcome back to the Nut House. Grab an acorn and have a seat.