Ho-hey, hi there. Not much to see here, sorry. I just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, like a little blue Dori fish, flapping my little fins trying to keep going. It's been an extended winter, and its APRIL, people, and they are still threatening that snow may fall here on the plain. This is not amusing anymore.
So yeah, in February I went back to school. It's a weird feeling, to be back on a college campus trying to figure out in which building is your class located, or how to get get a copy key in the library and make copies of a presentation that's due in 15 minutes. The good news, I suppose, is that this campus is well-known for its graduate programs, and so there are very few preppy little coeds with perky boobs bouncing around, at least when I'm there in the evenings, it is mostly old people like me trying to revive the muscle memory of how to study and learn and write papers, while maintaining a full time job and four soccer practices, two music lessons and 2-4 soccer games in any given week, plus feed the dirty little soccer hobbits occasionally, and perhaps even do some laundry. Not that I'm bitter. About the boobs, I mean.
I may have told my oldest last week to fish his soccer uniform out of the bottom of the hamper and put back it on for a game. I suppose I could have told him to spray it with Febreze or something, but he didn't seem to care.
But! A light at the end of the tunnel. Yesterday I turned in a giant final project from class number one, and am halfway through class number two. It's nice not to have all that hanging over my head, that is a feeling I remember well. I'll be done with this semester in two more weeks, and then summer classes start May 20th.
In the meantime, the vertigo has come back a couple of times, enough that my doctor referred me to a neurologist, who sent me for an MRI and another nasty test called an ENG. If you have never heard of an ENG, it is a test where they shoot water into your ears to see if they can activate the vertigo so they can get brain readings off of it. Turns out, it's not IF they can activate the vertigo by shooting water into your ears, its HOW MUCH and HOW BAD. The answer? Very, very much, and worse than I ever imagined. Even though I knew it was coming, which I thought would be a better scenario than when it hits me out of the blue, it was bad. They did it four times, twice in each ear. I haven't felt so vulnerable and overwhelmed and in pain since the last time I had a baby.
At this point, they think the vertigo is actually a form of a migraine, just with the floor falling away from me instead of pain in my head. I'm unsure which is worse. I haven't had migraine headaches in years, other than the one I had this past September which the doctor now says was definitely a migraine, but the vertigo, this is a problem. So that's been fun. What isn't fun is realizing that its only April and I've already used up my medical flexible spending account.
It is possible that I've got a little too much going on. After all, those are the times when my body tends to fail me in fantastically epic ways. I'm channeling my best Sweet Brown. (I know it's old, but it's still funny. And true.)
So here we are, enjoying a nice rainy night of cancelled soccer practice, eating dinner in our pajamas, avoiding the news, and going to bed early. Take it when you can get it, I say. For tomorrow, life goes on.
*Advice from Tina Fey - "By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your fucking life."