We're not in Kansas Anymore, Toto.

Friday wine goodness: Red Red Wine.

So yeah, it's been a while since I've done a Friday Wine Goodness post, huh?  Here it is the middle of October, and its fark-doodling cold outside, which sort of inhibits my desire for a lovely glass of chardonnay at 5pm. But! Easy fix! In cold weather, I just switch to red wine. It's like moving the air control levers on the vent system from summer to winter, if you have a two story house. My husband The Southerner calls it switching from clear liquor season to brown liquor season. Same diff.

My current favorite red right now is the Bogle Petite Syrah. Its not new or anything, but its yummy. I'm also a good friend to the Sterling Cabernet. And there's the old standby, the Francis Ford Coppola Claret. Guy can make good movies, and apparently good wines, too. Or maybe he just lucked out and bought the right piece of investment property in the Santa Clara valley. Who knows.

The song Red Red Wine comes to mind for me this time of year, not just because of the seasonal switch from white to red, but because the UB40 version was a favorite song of this guy, and it reminds me of that time in my life. Which is weird, because I love the song, it's so happy and carefree, but a wee bit of a downer, too.

Anyway, drink up, my friends. Despite the cold weather and the melancholy memories, I really like October, it is just bittersweet. It is also the month of my wedding anniversary, a completely different and still being written chapter in my life. Fourteen years, baby. October is trees turning orange and red and the smell of wood burning fireplaces in the neighborhood while I walk the dog, and pumpkins and mums, turtleneck sweaters, and of course, the wearing of my favorite coat, The Pink Wool Double-breasted Dress Coat.

We're supposed to get a break in this early chill this weekend, it might hit 60 on Saturday.  And Where The Wild Things Are is out in theaters. Squee!

Life is good.

Friday wine goodness: Almost Famous.

So, last Sunday for Mother's Day I was on the local news for about 10 seconds, talking with my hands and saying something stupid about being on Twitter all the time, which of course they cut and ran with right before the other mom that was interviewed said something about how one can spend too much time on the internet enjoying the community of moms and, you know, forget about their families. I totally knew they would do something like that, but whatever, it was interesting anyway.

Anyway. This weekend my short reign of terror fame continues, as I plan to make an appearance at the Chicks Who Click Kansas City happy hour, and then of course attend the actual conference tomorrow.  This is what I love about social media/marketing/internet people.  Other trade organizations start out with the lectures and then have parties on the last evening.  Us social media types like to start drinking BEFORE the serious lectur-y learn-y stuff.  These are SO my people, you have no idea.  This is my tribe. Well, one of my tribes. I'm multi-tribal! (It's like multi-ethnic, only with a pasty white English girl. So, notsomuch.)

So that will be fun. I might even learn somethin'.  I'm also supposed to be writing an article for the Chicks Who Click blog about moms and social media. I guess I should get on that.

Friday Wine Goodness: Rise of the Nerf Bullets.

How I feel about this week, in "a picture is worth a thousand words" style:

Hmm, yeah, not the best picture, sorry. Let's just say the week is over, and that's a good thing. We'll leave it at that.

In other news, I'm a little worried about the proliferation of nerf bullets that seem to just appear in random corners of my house.

It's like they're multiplying. Help me. Send reinforcements!

Meanwhile, tonight the boys and I are having a sleepover at the zoo with Drew's scout den, no alcoholic beverages allowed. It's not good to enable the animals, I guess.

Friday wine goodness: bundle up, sucker.

Given that last weekend was officially the beginning of Spring, the Kansas weather leading up to it was really freaking beautiful, and oh how we rejoiced in the 80 degree weather on St. Patrick's Day by drinking Margaritas in the culdesac with the neighbors.  Spring Break wrapped up and we've had one entire week of school. But much like the banks cannot be closed for two business days in a row, our school district apparently cannot allow two full weeks of school being in session every day, and next week my kindergartner only has school on Monday and is out for the rest of the week, and my third grader is out Thursday and Friday. They claim this is for "parent/teacher conferences" which is funny, because most of the parents have their conference appointments scheduled in the evening, but whatever. Thanks for making me have to scramble for daycare so I can work a full week twice within 30 days, Blue Valley ISD. 

Anyway, I think I started off talking about how awesome the weather was. Well, that's now a memory, too, as today we have freezing temperatures and a winter storm warning and may get 5-8 inches of snow on Saturday, the first day of soccer games.  Which we probably won't have. And which I wasn't going to be able to attend anyway, because I'll be downtown with my youth group kids at an all day community service project, raking leaves and picking up trash and brush, now with 200% more snow and bone-chilling wind. Awesome.  Unlike soccer games, this event will not be canceled, but they may try and come up with some things for us to do indoors, like mopping floors and wiping baseboards. In case you didn't know, this is EXACTLY the kind of community service teenagers love to waste their time doing.

If you've been watching me on Twitter you know that I lost all of my calendar items and contacts on my Treo on Wednesday night, during a process most people call "syncing" but which apparently for me became "deleting" instead.  I finally got a Palm customer service rep on live chat, who walked me through changing a random setting that was preventing me from reinstalling my backup from the laptop, so now I at least have everything that was in my last backup, that's the good news. The bad news is I am that typical person that never takes the time to do the backup and the last one was in January.

To celebrate getting back at least most of my contacts and about half of my calendar items, the boys and I went over to my friend's house for dinner and socializing, where socializing means the boys played the Wii and us two mommies drank two entire bottles of wine.  This wine, to be exact, which is really good and under $10 a bottle.  Yes, I know, two bottles of wine for a Thursday night is perhaps a bit much, but when the topic of conversation turns toward friends who committed suicide and husbands who were murdered, you really do need to open that second bottle.

So this morning, I'm dragging a bit. Right now I'm sitting on the bed with both the laptop and the dog's head keeping me warm, watching the weather channel talk about tornadoes in Florida and flooding in Fargo and the winter storm warning here in Kansas and trying not to think of all this as the coming of the apocalypse.  Because now is not a good time for the apocalypse to come. I'm out of wine.

*edited to add: Ah, yes, they did indeed cancel the service project. We will go service the community on another, hopefully more weather stable, day in April.

Friday Wine Goodness: Drinking Alone on Valentines Day.

This morning my husband flies out for Barcelona, Spain, for ten days for a tradeshow. Granted, next Wednesday I get to fly out there myself and join him for a few extra days of a much needed vacation.  But for now, and the next several days, I am flying totally solo. Not only is my husband gone, my parents have decided to hop a quick flight to Austin to visit some old friends.  It's a damn good thing that soccer hasn't started yet, we have no birthday parties to attend and no places to be.

So, I'm alone on Valentine's Day. Eh, so what. If you've been reading here for a while, you know already that I pretty much hate Valentine's Day. It's worthless.  There's no real holiday there, and my husband and I agree we don't need Hallmark to tell us when and where to let each other know we care.  I mean, it began as a Roman Catholic commemoration of a Martyr'd Saint, and may have been turned into a holiday by those same Catholics trying to rinse away the pagan rituals of those they conquered.  So technically, we're marking another example of Christian cleansing. Awesome.  And then some schmuck decided to make it all about giving cards, chocolate and roses.

(I kid. I kind of like Chaucer, I'm a literary anglophile, after all...although he's awfully damn wordy.)

So, yeah, I'm a Valentine's Grinch.  Deal. 

Anyhoo, I'll be hangin' with my little homies here at the house tomorrow. I'm kind of looking forward to it, actually, me and the kids snuggled up watching movies in bed all day, and not changing out of our jammies until Sunday morning. 

Friday Wine Goodness returns!

So, I realized that it's been a while since I've done a Friday Wine Goodness post.  I didn't really mean to take such a hiatus, it's not because I ain't drinkin' the stuff, but mostly because I've been sick crazy busy. You know, during that euphemistic time period they call "winter break" and sometimes "vacation" but really means "your kids are out of school for the next two weeks and you still have most of your Christmas shopping to do, church/work activities to prepare for, and at least one blog post to write every day, so good luck with that."

Yeah, that.

Anyhoodles*, Here we are.  I had wanted to find some sort of bottle image to share with you, something funny and catchy that relates to the FWG return from near death, but first I stumbled upon this.

I guaran-damn-tee you no naming consultant was hired or harmed in the development of this wine brand:

 

The calligraphy is teeny, so I'll help you out: It's called Dead Letter Office. And that's how I know it was named internally, probably by the owners themselves. If a naming consultant (such as yours truly) proposed using the D-word to name a wine, she would be mocked, vilified, and sent slinking from the room. Dead, professionally speaking, is what she'd be.

PEOPLE, PAY ATTENTION.  Anyone who can claim to be a Wordsmith, naming and brand expert and start a sentence with "I guaran-damn-tee..", which I am pretty sure is not a legal word in Scrabble, gets my total approval. 

I guaran-damn-tee she's got a couple of copies of Eats, Shoots, and Leaves lying around the house, too. Not that I would know anything about that, myself. Ahem.

*also not a legal word in Scrabble. I wonder if someone could come out with an Urban Dictionary version of Scrabble. That would be kind of awesome.

Friday wine goodness: Talk to your doctor or pharmacist.

Sometimes these things just write themselves, thanks to jokes on email.  Yes, I'm being lazy, but this really did make me laugh out loud in public, drawing glares of annoyed Target shoppers (yes I walk around Target texting, twitter, and reading email. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful a technology whore.)

Enjoy!

Subject: Fwd: Health Advice for Women

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from Shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

 If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your
 doctor or pharmacist about Chardonnay.

 Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more
 confident about yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you
 out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you are ready and willing
 to do just about anything.

 You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost
 immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles
 that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and
 awkwardness will be a  thing of the past and you will discover many talents you
 never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Chardonnay.

 Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are
 pregnant or nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who would not
 mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

 Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headaches, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night  rounds of Strip Poker, Truth or Dare and naked Twister.

 WARNINGS:

The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends  over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.

The consumption of Chardonnay may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to call/text them at 4 in the morning.

The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you tougher, smarter, faster and better looking then most people.

Friday wine goodness: Ya gotta have FAITH.

Aaaand, now you're all stuck with a catchy George Michael song in your head for the rest of the afternoon. You're welcome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSvHpvHFXU0

Or, maybe you don't. I don't know. But suffice to say that I do, most days, have faith.  Which is a little different from where I stood ten years ago. I mean, I was no Christopher Hitchens, I just didn't really care.  I thought it was enough that I felt I was a relatively good person who acted generously whenever possible and tried to do unto others blah blah blah.

However. The emotional impact of thrusting fresh lives into this world can play havoc with that deconstructive, always questioning philosophical stance you crafted so steadily as an English major at a liberal arts college (a Christian one, no less.)  And when you approach a Pastor about having your offspring baptized, and she asks why you want this child blessed in such a way, your answer of "I don't know, just in case they're right, I guess?" is probably not going to impress her very much. 

And also, I like to believe that I've grown as an adult, and that I continue to grow.  There's really only one way to do that, and that is to challenge yourself in areas you find difficult.

And so, here I am.  On a faith journey. 

Anyway, yesterday and today I've been attending bits and pieces of a Christian leadership conference here in Kansas City at Church of the Resurrection, otherwise known as Six Flags over Jesus, or Fort God.  (And I heard that joke from the pastor, which explains why he's so popular - he actually has a sense of humor...)  It's a mega church, which is good because this particular conference is being attended by people from over 500 Protestant churches nationwide.  I happen to live close enough I can walk, which is good because parking is a bitch.

I realize I'm not really your typical Christian.  That's probably why I don't get into discussing it much.  I'm a Liberal, Pro-Choice, Gay Rights, Pass the wine and lay off the judgemental elitism kind of Christian.  And Sarah Palin and her fundie rhetoric scares the shit out of me.  I drink, I cuss, and sometimes I yell at people in traffic.

Look, I said I was on a journey. I didn't say I deserve a robe and a seat next to St Peter.

Friday wine goodness: Circle of Friends

This weekend is like Old Home Week around our house. Both my husband and I are getting to see and spend time with friends we grew up with.  First, my husband and several of his friends are going down to Fayetteville, Arkansas to see their own Crimson Tide play the Hogs.  And while they're gone, I invited an old friend who's going to be in town for her daughter's softball tournament to stay at our house.  She has girls the same ages as my boys, so I say we give each a wii remote and let them go at it.  We can let the kids get to know each other and stay up late drinking wine.  I would finish that sentence with "like we did in the old days" but we knew each other best from ages 5-12, and the other times we've run into each other as adults we always seemed to be pregnant, so actually this will be the first time we've shared drinks together!

So it's going to be a fun weekend.  And in honor of old friends, I introduce to you Tertulia Cellars, of Walla Walla, Washington.

(Seriously, how awesome is the name of that town??)

From their homepage:

Tertulia is a Spanish word meaning "a social gathering of friends." We chose this name for our winery because we believe there is no better way to enjoy a fine bottle of wine than gathered in the midst of friends.

I love the imagery of their logo - the circle of cut-out paper dolls is really fun.  Also, anyone remember the movie Circle of Friends, with an adorable Chris O'Donnell early in his career (what happened to him, anyway?) and a slightly chubby Minnie Driver?  That movie was heartbreaking to me - what with the pining, sweet Minnie and her lying, bitchy high-society friend who totally got what she deserved getting knocked up by her TEACHER but then stole Minnie's true love just to cover her own tracks.  I had a thing for hot guys who would step up and take responsibility for things that weren't their problem (see also Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing).  I so wanted to believe that guys actually did that, take care of you, and be all honorable and shit. Sigh. Movies - why do you fuck with the minds of teenage girls SO MUCH?

Ahem. Anyway.  Both of those movies were set in the 1950's, so maybe that's my problem.

So.  Enjoy a beautiful fall weekend of friends, family, wine, and football, all that jazz.

Friday wine goodness: Shut up and drink.

So, yes I know that last post was kinda lame. I am sorry. This is what happens when I let my inner monologue guilt me into writing a post even when I know its forced. And poorly edited for things like, you know, segues, as if you couldn't tell I ran out of words and just slapped Tina Turner up there hoping you wouldn't notice. Although I really do like Tina Turner. Here's kind of how it went down:

 

Inner Monologue: Yo, you should totally post today. Its 9-11 you know.

Me: No. I don't want to. I don't have anything to say.

IM: Loser. You have to. Everyone else is.

Me: NO. I don't want to think about it.

IM: Don't think, just type.

Me: It makes me sad. And I'm in a good mood today, dammit.

IM: Really? how'd you manage that? Loser.

Me: I don't know. I have other things to think about.

IM: Like what, another damn hurricane speeding through the gulf?

Me: Why would I post about the hurricane? I'm in Kansas. And Jim Cantore is just bucking for a Peabody.

IM: Yes well, that's true. He'll probably get one.  I especially like when they're asking him hard questions when he's trying to keep himself standing upright in the wind...

Me: ...We don't need another hero.

IM: WTF?

Me: I guess that's the title of my 9-11 post. I always think of that song when I think of 9-11 for some reason.

IM: Oh right. Good. That's good. Keep it coming.

Me: Uh. that's all I got.

IM: you suck. You call yourself a writer.

Me: Like you can do better.

IM: WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HEROOOOOOOOOOOO...

Me: Stop it.

IM: WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAY HOME...

Me: OKAY FINE. I will write a post. It will suck.

IM: Whatever, loser. I'm going to watch the Weather Channel. Hey, do we have any wine?

Me: Its the middle of the day, freak.

IM: What, that's better than in the morning? So do we have any wine, or not?
Me: Yes. of course.
IM: Like what?
Me:I don't know. A shiraz, I think. And maybe a Smoking Loon merlot.
IM: I'M NOT DRINKING ANY FUCKING MERLOT.
Me: You think you're hilarious, don't you? There's a box of Target chardonnay in the fridge.

IM: That's my girl. On va a la fridge!

Me: No. I have to write a post now, thanks to you, remember?

IM: WTFE. CU L8R, loser.

Me: What are you, like 12? You can IM speak? I have an inner monologue who's twelve and drinks wine during the day and watches the weather channel?

IM: The three faces of Jenny!

Me: sigh.

 

 

So there you go. If it makes you feel better, I'm typing this at 1:45 am after Will came in to bed with me and then the dog started pacing to go out, and then I couldn't go to back sleep. Ah the internet, she is always on.

 

Maybe I'm better in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. I hear that's a condition of real writers.

IM: You wish.