We're not in Kansas Anymore, Toto.

Friday Wine Goodness: Closer to Fine.

 

 

Today on the way home from school I heard Indigo Girls' "Closer to Fine" come up on the radio. It's an old song now, but then I am old, too, I suppose. I don't love it any less fiercely than I ever did, but instead it is like an old quilt wrapping around me, warming the air surrounding my body and leaving me happier than I was just a moment previously. It is the same feeling I get when I hear Simon and Garfunkel's "Coming Home" or Cat Stevens' "Moonshadow." 

I know, you're gagging on the imaginary Patchouli fog floating out of your screen right about now, sorry. I yam who I yam. 

And right now, I am a woman looking down the barrel of three and a half more days of school this year - my first year of teaching in a public school classroom. I knew I would love this job, but I didn't know how MUCH I would love it. the answer to that is So Very Much. Ridiculously much. I should have done it years ago, when this song was new. But, I try not to have regrets. So I'm a little nostalgic and yet so very ready for summer, all at the same time.

So much has happened to my little family this past year, and I've not been able to share very much of it here. It hasn't all been good, it hasn't all been bad, but it probably will make for a good story someday. Perhaps at some point and time in the future, when emotions are a little less raw, and it would be easier to look back and laugh instead of wallow in it, I can tell the tale. 

Overall, despite all of this, I'm really pretty happy. Yeah, we're stressed. But we're healthy. The weather is nice. We have food on the table, and clean sheets on the bed. The hard stuff will go away soon enough. In this, I have faith. 

And until then, I have plenty of wine to tide me over. 

 

Friday Wine Goodness: The Mating Call of the Chocolate Ale.

image from Boulevard Brewing Company

I know I'm about a week behind on this topic, but that's just how it works for me these days. Two weeks ago Boulevard Brewing Company released the 2012 Chocolate Ale, part of the Smokestack Series of special release beers, in collaboration with Christopher Elbow Chocolates. Beer and chocolate lovers alike scrambled to get their hands on some, but it was scarce and sold out quickly. In my infinite wisdom, I chose not to try and scramble, knowing instead that my brother's bar would have some on tap, and I could partake at my leisure.

Tempting fate is not one of my lessons easily learned, however, as it was by that Wednesday afternoon my 11 year old had been sick with a high fever for two days. We were not going out to eat at my brother's place, nor would we be served a glass of hoppy chocolate yumminess the next day, as the keg was tapped and sold out in about 8 hours. Oops.

My nearby Lukas Liquors had a recording on the phone announcing they were sold out. The World Market store clerk said "Oh yeah, we had some. For about 15 minutes."

Hmmph. Epic Fail.

Finally, after many calls, we found a liquor store that was getting in a new shipment and taking names for a waiting list. We dutifully left our name, and then went in the next morning to collect our prize. $15 for a litre bottle. (I heard later people were selling it on eBay for a lot more.)

Having caught a Facebook conversation in which my friend Average Jane suggested the Chocolate Ale would be better served closer to room temperature, we brought it of the fridge and let it sit for about 20 minutes before snapping off the Champagne-like cork contraption. And then we swirled and sipped, as if it were a glass of Pinot being served on a terra cotta patio in Napa Valley.

And it was good. Really, really good.

The chocolate kicks in more in the aftertaste than in the sip itself. My husband and I found ourselves polishing off that litre a little too fast, a little too easy. It's probably good this stuff isn't around for the regular part of the year.We shared the other bottle with friends we had over for the Super Bowl. It disappeared in minutes.

Here's some other good news: if you didn't get any Chocolate Ale in the frenzy of the past few weeks, never fear. A little bird tells me some restaurants may be holding some back to serve on Valentine's Day. Call around to your favorite places, because I'm not giving up my secret source.

 

Friday Wine Goodness: Welcome to Kansas, Trader Joe's.

  
 
And the people said, "Awww, yeah."

So yeah, I finally made it over to Trader Joe's and for a Friday afternoon at 2pm, it was insanely crowded. I'm glad I wasn't here to try and go in the first few days it opened. Us Midwesterners, we like to swarm new things. The good news all the freaky people who just wanted to try it will go back to HenHouse soon, and the rest of us can get our Two Buck Chuck without the hassle. But this was pretty cute - happy wine! (Note my fav - the La Crema in the background is only 16.99 here. Normally it's over 20.)

* Actually, it's welcome to Missouri, if you want to buy wine. The TJs on the Kansas side is grocery only, because Kansas is a little backward. Don't get me started.

 

Friday Wine Goodness: See you after the rapture, suckers.

image courtesy of youngspiritwine.com

 

Oh come on, you didn't think I was gonna let that go by, did you?

Also, I can't get this song out of my head:

 

Seriously, I hope it's true, at least in some sense. I hope the freaks and weirdos get zapped up tomorrow in some Mork and Mindy style shazzam and then the rest of us Jesus lovers can begin to dig out from the hole they've been digging us deeper and deeper into since The Crusades. I'm really hoping that asshole from Topeka gets taken, too, so maybe Kansas can start earning back our right to be taken seriously.

Sidenote: speaking of fags, my oldest has been reading The Hobbit, mostly because I found a box set of the Fellowship of the Rings Trilogy at a garage sale last year and thus decided it was time for him to read it, but really felt he needed to start at the beginning. When we first opened it up last week, I read the first chapter aloud then he went on his own. I had to stop and explain the use of the word "fag" in JRR Tolkien's world. In England, if you didn't know, a fag is a cigarette. I had to stop the story and explain to him that in America it's a mean word, a derogeratory word, and that it's not a word to be used at all, ever. And that really it's best not to use it in the sense of a cigarette either, because unless you're actually in the UK at the time, it won't be taken well.

He had no idea that some people would say horrible things about someone and make fun of them and call them names just because they are gay. This is where we are, people. The kids today have no idea that the words of yesterday were used in those ways, or could be hateful, or that there would even ever have been a reason to be hateful. Yes they know bullying, they know words can hurt, but the specific words used for specific purposes they do not know. And they do not know why. This, I think, is progress.

He has no idea of the N word, either, but I managed to avoid that conversation because he got bored trying to read the dialect inflections about four pages into Tom Sawyer and we certainly haven't made it to Huckleberry Finn. My son apparently prefers his characters to be imaginary creatures like pokemon, hobbits, half-Gods and wizard Christ figures. Regular little boys who create mischief but have no magic powers hold no interest to him. Go figure. I can't wait until we get to Shakespeare.

See you all next week, people. May the world be a less annoying place. Peace out.

 

 

 

 

Friday Wine Goodness: I can't feel my brain.

It's Friday! Exhaaaaaaale.

This week I spent shadowing the teacher for which I am taking over when she has her baby and begins her maternity leave. Supposedly, I do not technically start teaching alone, by myself, stranded in the classroom without her until Monday, May 9th, but I have a feeling it will be sooner. I watched that baby drop all week, from sitting high and tight right under her boobs to so low by this afternoon she could barely walk. Yeah, she's not two weeks from labor. I'd put money on it.

Anyway, I got to spend the week with her, going through each class, meeting the kids, many of whom I already know because they're on various sports teams my kids have played on over the years. One second grader who plays soccer with my son even raised his hand, and without taking his eyes off me, asked his teacher, "Um, does her son play on my soccer team?" Yes, yes he does.

The good news about being the computer teacher is that I get to see everyone in the whole building. Each day is set up the same, 5th grade first, kindergarten last. So really, every day is like Bill Murray's Groundhog's Day, as far as what I have to teach. The 5th graders practice their typing skills, the kindergartners have books read aloud on the screen. Rinse, repeat, Monday to Friday.

But I'm sooooooo tired. I've never been this tired. Well okay, maybe after that one mission trip with teenagers where it was 102 degrees and we camped outside and I woke up to a raccoon staring curiously into my eyes from THREE FEET AWAY... maybe I'm that tired. I don't know. But between me and the pregnant chick, by this afternoon we could barely talk, much less go over lesson plans.

And then, at 3 pm today, we had a surprise fire drill. While the kindergartners were in our classroom. There is a protocol, and it's not that complicated, and we got wind of it about 2 minutes beforehand, so we lined up and waited for the sirens to go off. But still. Kindergartners, in case you don't know, cannot walk in a straight line to save their lives. They cannot walk without talking, flailing, or singing. They cannot do these things under normal circumstances, but add the sensory overload/excitement  of sirens and flashing lights, and you might as well be done for the day because HOLY CRAP, they can't re-engage. I mean come on, they are five. They can however, hold their little chubby hands in yours very tightly while you re-enter the building and assure them there really is no fire, it's just a practice. They will squint and cock their heads to the side like a puppy, with a look that reads, "Lady, you crazy." But they will go quietly anyway.

And then you will come home, go to baseball practice, drink some wine, go to some soccer games over the weekend, and start your own personal Groundhog's Day movie all over again on Monday. Rinse, repeat.

But then, Field Day is coming. God help me.

 

 

Friday Wine Goodness: Let's blow some sh*t up edition. *

For Christmas, my youngest got a special kit to make Coke and Mentos explosions. Since we live in Kansas, and winter has been upon us, we only just now got it out to actually do it. Behold, my Walmart expedition this morning.

Plus, a little extra fortification for mom. It's National Drink Wine Day, after all.

 

Anyway, here's the video. The little boys are excited about the geyser, the older kids just want to drink the leftover Coke out of the bottle.

 

 

TGIF, people. Party on, Garth.

 

* this is as close as we get to actually blowing sh*t up at my house. That's what Boy Scout camp is for, thank you very much.

 

Friday wine goodness: Red Red Wine.

So yeah, it's been a while since I've done a Friday Wine Goodness post, huh?  Here it is the middle of October, and its fark-doodling cold outside, which sort of inhibits my desire for a lovely glass of chardonnay at 5pm. But! Easy fix! In cold weather, I just switch to red wine. It's like moving the air control levers on the vent system from summer to winter, if you have a two story house. My husband The Southerner calls it switching from clear liquor season to brown liquor season. Same diff.

My current favorite red right now is the Bogle Petite Syrah. Its not new or anything, but its yummy. I'm also a good friend to the Sterling Cabernet. And there's the old standby, the Francis Ford Coppola Claret. Guy can make good movies, and apparently good wines, too. Or maybe he just lucked out and bought the right piece of investment property in the Santa Clara valley. Who knows.

The song Red Red Wine comes to mind for me this time of year, not just because of the seasonal switch from white to red, but because the UB40 version was a favorite song of this guy, and it reminds me of that time in my life. Which is weird, because I love the song, it's so happy and carefree, but a wee bit of a downer, too.

Anyway, drink up, my friends. Despite the cold weather and the melancholy memories, I really like October, it is just bittersweet. It is also the month of my wedding anniversary, a completely different and still being written chapter in my life. Fourteen years, baby. October is trees turning orange and red and the smell of wood burning fireplaces in the neighborhood while I walk the dog, and pumpkins and mums, turtleneck sweaters, and of course, the wearing of my favorite coat, The Pink Wool Double-breasted Dress Coat.

We're supposed to get a break in this early chill this weekend, it might hit 60 on Saturday.  And Where The Wild Things Are is out in theaters. Squee!

Life is good.

Friday wine goodness: Almost Famous.

So, last Sunday for Mother's Day I was on the local news for about 10 seconds, talking with my hands and saying something stupid about being on Twitter all the time, which of course they cut and ran with right before the other mom that was interviewed said something about how one can spend too much time on the internet enjoying the community of moms and, you know, forget about their families. I totally knew they would do something like that, but whatever, it was interesting anyway.

Anyway. This weekend my short reign of terror fame continues, as I plan to make an appearance at the Chicks Who Click Kansas City happy hour, and then of course attend the actual conference tomorrow.  This is what I love about social media/marketing/internet people.  Other trade organizations start out with the lectures and then have parties on the last evening.  Us social media types like to start drinking BEFORE the serious lectur-y learn-y stuff.  These are SO my people, you have no idea.  This is my tribe. Well, one of my tribes. I'm multi-tribal! (It's like multi-ethnic, only with a pasty white English girl. So, notsomuch.)

So that will be fun. I might even learn somethin'.  I'm also supposed to be writing an article for the Chicks Who Click blog about moms and social media. I guess I should get on that.

Friday Wine Goodness: Rise of the Nerf Bullets.

How I feel about this week, in "a picture is worth a thousand words" style:

Hmm, yeah, not the best picture, sorry. Let's just say the week is over, and that's a good thing. We'll leave it at that.

In other news, I'm a little worried about the proliferation of nerf bullets that seem to just appear in random corners of my house.

It's like they're multiplying. Help me. Send reinforcements!

Meanwhile, tonight the boys and I are having a sleepover at the zoo with Drew's scout den, no alcoholic beverages allowed. It's not good to enable the animals, I guess.

Friday wine goodness: bundle up, sucker.

Given that last weekend was officially the beginning of Spring, the Kansas weather leading up to it was really freaking beautiful, and oh how we rejoiced in the 80 degree weather on St. Patrick's Day by drinking Margaritas in the culdesac with the neighbors.  Spring Break wrapped up and we've had one entire week of school. But much like the banks cannot be closed for two business days in a row, our school district apparently cannot allow two full weeks of school being in session every day, and next week my kindergartner only has school on Monday and is out for the rest of the week, and my third grader is out Thursday and Friday. They claim this is for "parent/teacher conferences" which is funny, because most of the parents have their conference appointments scheduled in the evening, but whatever. Thanks for making me have to scramble for daycare so I can work a full week twice within 30 days, Blue Valley ISD. 

Anyway, I think I started off talking about how awesome the weather was. Well, that's now a memory, too, as today we have freezing temperatures and a winter storm warning and may get 5-8 inches of snow on Saturday, the first day of soccer games.  Which we probably won't have. And which I wasn't going to be able to attend anyway, because I'll be downtown with my youth group kids at an all day community service project, raking leaves and picking up trash and brush, now with 200% more snow and bone-chilling wind. Awesome.  Unlike soccer games, this event will not be canceled, but they may try and come up with some things for us to do indoors, like mopping floors and wiping baseboards. In case you didn't know, this is EXACTLY the kind of community service teenagers love to waste their time doing.

If you've been watching me on Twitter you know that I lost all of my calendar items and contacts on my Treo on Wednesday night, during a process most people call "syncing" but which apparently for me became "deleting" instead.  I finally got a Palm customer service rep on live chat, who walked me through changing a random setting that was preventing me from reinstalling my backup from the laptop, so now I at least have everything that was in my last backup, that's the good news. The bad news is I am that typical person that never takes the time to do the backup and the last one was in January.

To celebrate getting back at least most of my contacts and about half of my calendar items, the boys and I went over to my friend's house for dinner and socializing, where socializing means the boys played the Wii and us two mommies drank two entire bottles of wine.  This wine, to be exact, which is really good and under $10 a bottle.  Yes, I know, two bottles of wine for a Thursday night is perhaps a bit much, but when the topic of conversation turns toward friends who committed suicide and husbands who were murdered, you really do need to open that second bottle.

So this morning, I'm dragging a bit. Right now I'm sitting on the bed with both the laptop and the dog's head keeping me warm, watching the weather channel talk about tornadoes in Florida and flooding in Fargo and the winter storm warning here in Kansas and trying not to think of all this as the coming of the apocalypse.  Because now is not a good time for the apocalypse to come. I'm out of wine.

*edited to add: Ah, yes, they did indeed cancel the service project. We will go service the community on another, hopefully more weather stable, day in April.