We're not in Kansas Anymore, Toto.

Friday Wine Goodness: Isn't it Ironic?

I try to be a good mom. And a good wife.  I really do.  But sometimes I just don't have it in me.  I have a bladder infection, I'm still tired from our trip that we haven't even unpacked from, and my house is a disaster zone.  Yesterday was my husband's birthday, I had agreed to let him get an iPhone as his present, and we were all going out to dinner.  The boys had a long, tiring day at camp, and tend to be pretty cranky as they wind down they're day, and trying to cope with that usually makes me cranky.  I let them have a snack and play the Wii quietly so they weren't insane with hunger and physically exhausted by the time we got to the restaurant, and we could enjoy a dinner in peace without people staring at us with that" UGH why do people with kids go out to restaurants when they can't control them and ruin my dinner!" look.

We did manage to have a mostly nice dinner at Ted's Montana Grill, our waitress was young and sweet and not overwhelmed by our inability to group all the things we needed from her into one trip, (Do you need anything else? Yes, I need a steak knife. Do you need anything else? Yes, can he have more lemonade? Do you need anything else, Yes, I'm sorry, can I have more dressing? More water? Catsup? Another glass of wine? More rolls? He dropped his fork, can we get a new one? If I were her my head would have exploded.)

But by the time we were ready to leave, the kids could hold in their exhaustion no more and began that nitpicky whining thing that sends me over the edge.  And by the time we arrived back at the house, it was chewing on my very last nerve.  The boys were ignoring every word out of my mouth to go get showered and dressed and put their shoes away and finally I snapped.

"Drew! You have two minutes to get your butt in the shower or I am going to get REAL CRANKY."

He said, almost tentatively, as if he knew exactly what my reaction would be, "Is that different?"

As I turned to roar at him he fled up the stairs.  I didn't even bother to chase him.

We are obviously still recovering from our holiday weekend in Alabama, but headed to the lake of the Ozarks this afternoon to stay with friends for the weekend, where I intend to not actually spend any time in the water, myself.  I just want to lay on the dock, in a trashed deck lounger with a strap or two missing, wearing terry cloth daisy dukes and drinking wine from a plastic cup, and maybe yell at the kids a bunch.  I'm ready to get my redneck on.

This, my friends, is the maximum I can muster today. make your own jokes and references.

(I don't own any terry-cloth daisy dukes.  I did when I was 10, though.)

Friday Wine Goodness: Screw Kappa Napa

Many of you know I was in a sorority in college, despite the fact that people who know me outside of that world would never peg me for a sorority girl.  But I went to a small university that was, at the time, almost 50% greek. It was hard to overlook.

And it was fun, albeit it had its annoying moments, and I made friends that I still stay in touch with.  It has helped me to make friends in every new town my husband has ever dragged me to: The first thing I do whenever we move is find a local chapter of my sorority alumni, and POOF! Instead friends with a common bond.  I get why some people are very  anti-greek, sororities and fraternities have always made it easy to be targets by their choice of behavior.  I happen to think, generally, that most of the horrible things that happen in the greek world (like deaths due to drinking, hazing, so forth) are actually not significantly higher in number than in the non-greek college world, but it gets reported more, see again: easy targets and stupid decisions over a history of lifetimes.**

Anyway, I guess my point is despite being a greek alumni myself, I still laugh at the jokes and innuendos, because they're funny, dammit.  If you can't make fun of yourself, then you're boring.  And this one is no exception:

 This is hysterical not only because of the play on the fraternity name, but because by virtue of the name, it also makes fun of the wine snobs.  Maybe only the second most deserving group of people to make fun of.

Don Sebastiani and Sons, the winery that brought us Smoking Loon wines, has been at it again.  And their goal in life, aside from making great wine and a decent price, is to not take themselves too seriously.  And let the wine world know it shouldn't, either.  Genius.  They've been a family winery since 1904.  Did you ever see that Keanu Reeves movie, A Walk in the Clouds?  I loved that movie.  Not necessarily for Mr. Whoa, but because that is what I imagine a family winery is like.  It seems so very romantic. (And also because, hello, Anthony Quinn!  I loved him.  The original Ethnic Everyman actor, like John Turturro is now.)

Not all that romantic, however, they also make this one, which doesn't even have a descriptor other than its a red table wine:

I can only imagine its wine made up from leftover things, sort of a fountain drink suicide of wines, if you will.  And I plan to look for it in a store near me, perhaps just for the label.

**Yes, thank you, I am aware of the irony of defending the greek system while discussing wine, which is, uh, an alcoholic beverage.  Just go with it. 

New week, new blog.

I'm kind of excited to tell you that I've started a new blog over here at We're not in Kansas Anymore, Toto, at this site, for product reviews and other such yummy bloggy-ness where I get offered gifts or money or wine or whatever else people can think of for me to blog about them.  I'm excited because, well frankly, I have an opinion about everything I come across anyway, and I've never stepped away from the oversharing, and now someone wants to give me coupons and money for it!  I find that exciting, wouldn't you? 

But, I have to set up a different place to write about these things, as doing it here is a big no-no with my BlogHer Ads agreement.  And I'm not about to drop one money source for another.  Not that I'm raking it in over here, I'm not Dooce.  I'll not have to add anything to my tax return or anything.  But I'm having fun.  Go with it.

Also, little weekend wrapup: Friday night I got to eat barbecue and drink beer with my friend Nancy, who was here visiting family for various graduations.  Nancy is from Kansas, but we met when we both lived in California and our sons were in kindergarten together, and now she lives in New Hampshire.  Again, go with it. 

And actually, Nancy didn't drink beer, because she can't.  She has Celiac's disease, and gluten is bad, beer is bad, bread is bad...lots o'things is bad.  And they don't serve wine at Oklahoma Joe's.  But I was not about to allow a girlfriend go without alcoholic refreshment on a Friday night when surrounded by family she can hardly stand, so I stopped off and picked her up a little something to go.  My husband said, "you are not taking wine into a restaurant, ARE YOU?"  I said, "watch me."  And she was ever grateful. 

Anyway, check out my review of Kellogg's www.childhoodiscalling.com and Frosted Flakes Gold websites. 

Friday wine goodness: Let them drink Cakebread.

So, first off, the Newman's Own hasn't actually been broken into.  Apparently last weekend I was in a Shiraz-blend mood, and stuck to the Penfolds.  Second, since my posting this week has been pretty lame, I will offer that the shock collar training with one very mischievous poodle has gone about 50/50 on the good/bad side, so far.  I'm a little afraid he may need a pacemaker after this, but we keep trying.  Look for Max at a John Kerry rally near you. 

Anyhoodles, I came here today to write about wine, didn't I?  Right, well, I'll get to that in a minute. 

So, quick back story, next week my husband starts a new Yob.  This is good news, and bad news.  The good is he is very excited to be returning to the wireless telecom/technology sector, where he can geek out to his little heart's content.  The bad is that this new company starts its day at 8am, and is a 20-25 minute commute, so the morning routine of our entire household (ie: my lazy-ass routine of sleeping until 7am and getting up when he brings me coffee) will be turned on its ear. (pout pout pout. whine whine whine. Wait, what's that? A bigger paycheck? Paid benefits? Shutting up now.)

(God I take a long time to make a point, don't I?)

Right so, my husband finished his notice earlier in the week and has been biding his time being a househusband, getting some things done that desperately needed doing while he had a chance.  When I got home from a worthless hour of time I'll never get back at the Sprint Store, he said, "My last night of (brief) unemployment!  Let's open the Cakebread!"

A couple of years ago, he read a recommendation for Cakebread wines, and we took one to a dinner party of a friend who is quite the wine connoisseur, and it played well.  Since, we've saved a bottle for ourselves to celebrate with.  It's a nice chardonnay, Cakebread, and not cheap.  If you can find it for around $30 you're doing pretty well, but I've seen it for $60 and even behind glass doors for certain years.  Since I think I've mentioned before my threshold for wine prices, the Newman's Own of last week falling above my normal range at $14.99 a bottle, the Cakebread seems a huge extravagance.  But, hey, I'm all for celebrating, so once again I skipped yoga last night in favor of wine and a nice dinner with my family.

It was pretty good, I must admit.  But I guess just not as good as I imagined it being given how expensive it was.  It doesn't beat my all time favorite chard, La Crema, that's for sure.  I also think for the splurgy-price,  the Shafer is much better.

And what did we pair with our fahncy wine?  Are you ready for this?

Ham steaks and white rice.  When my husband told me that was the menu to accompany our celebratory wine, I asked if maybe we should also drink it out of jelly jars?  He didn't find it that amusing.  But I sure did.

Friday wine goodness: The genius of Paul Newman.

Paul Newman can do anything.  His Newman's Own brand has evolved from a little organic charity wunderkind to a multinational brand where the charity part isn't even understood by most folks who buy it, they just love the products.  And now, he's entered the wine category.  It ain't as cheap as Two Buck Chuck, but I'll bet it's tasty.  And I aim to find out in a mere few hours as I finish setting up for tomorrow's junk offload garage sale.  Stay tuned.

PS: Kiss your bolting days goodbye, Max baby.  The collar has arrived. 

Friday wine goodness: Heart Healthy Linky Love.

So, we've all heard the reports that red wine is good for your heart.  There are many (try google, or digg).  But this one is the best I've ever seen:

Drinking wine can maintain heart health, prevent cancer and even settle a mean case of diarrhea. Research now shows it’s also good for your teeth and throat.

Sore throats! Gingivitis! (Er, nevermind the teeth staining part, that's why they invented Crest Whitestrips, yes?) And lo, diarrhea!  I KNEW there was a reason I love wine.  Maybe that will offset all those FiberOne bars I've been eating to try and lose weight.  Thanks to Bob Green and Oprah, who knew their world domination plan included keeping people in the bathroom all damn day.  Ahem. 

Anyway, other things are good for the heart, too, of course.  This is the part where I shamelessly plug my kid's fundraising efforts, Jump Rope for the Heart, sponsored by the American Heart Association.  If you're bored and feel like donating to his little online fundraising page, be my guest.  The online donation has a minimum of $25 though (greedy bastards) so if you want to do something but not that much, email me and I'll do it manually.

Also, speaking of links, you may have noticed a new little bauble up in my left sidebar, Feel Your Boobies!  (Yes you can say that on TV, as Heather says)  A breast cancer awareness site.  A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and this site is awesome.  I've long been a supporter of the Susan G. Komen Foundation, but hey, the more awareness we can get for this disease, the better.  Click away.  Feel free to drink and click, in fact!

(Could I get more links in this post?)

Its going to be rainy and stormy all weekend here, so it looks like no soccer or planting bushes for me .  I guess I'll have to stay in and drink wine and let Wii parent for me.

(Anybody love that Wii song as much as me? Lordy.)

(Although this one is hilarious!  Wii goes all Tarantino on your ass! Ha!)

Friday wine goodness: Party like the Pope.

I would just like to quickly point out, that for all the media coverage given to Dubya's little pontiff party which annoys me greatly, it is kind of cool to have the Pope here on US soil.  I wish we had someone to thrust at him besides The Idiot, but that's a different post.

By the way, if you search google news for the word "wine" by most recent articles, number 3 happens to be the event calendar of the Kansas City Catholic Diocese, the main reason being this event:

"Forks and Corks" Food and Wine Tasting, to benefit Harvesters, 6 to 9 pm April 24. 

This cracks me up to no small degree.  Catholics ain't afraid of the drink, that's for sure.  And it reminds me of something else, from the "way back when" files.

In 1996 my husband and I lived in Pittsburgh, PA.  Nice town, The Burgh, if you happen to A. be from there, B. be Catholic, or C. like the Steelers.  We moved there not claiming any of those things, so it was a rough year.
But one of my favorite restaurants of all time is in Pittsburgh, The Church Brewery.  It was an old church with stained glass windows and beautiful hard wood pews and carved decor, and it was scheduled for demolition before a couple of guys bought it and converted it into a restaurant, and put the beer vats up in the alter alcove, the holiest place in the building.  It had just opened that year, so it got a lot of notoriety, both good and bad.  The good - because it was such a neat place, had good food and great micro-brew.  The bad?  Well, some people didn't appreciate the holiness of the beer vats.

But we loved going there, it was close by to the advertising agency where I worked, and my friends and I went there when our just-out-of-school entry-level paychecks would allow.  And the best quote I ever heard was from my friend Paul, a nice Irish Catholic boy from up the Mainline in Philadelphia, when asked by an older woman in our office who was appalled, if it offended his religion. 

"Are you kidding?  This is the best thing in the world for us Irish Catholics!  We can drink and go to church at the same time!  It doesn't get any better!"

Friday Wine Goodness: Party like a Mommy Blogger

So, its Friday, and rather than sit around with my friends drinking wine and eating pizza while the kids play (what else?) Star Wars Lego on the Wii, tonight we have to go to the PTA Carnival at the elementary school.  Wahoo.  See me jump for joy.  See me be annoyed that wine is not one of the beverage offerings to go with the hot dog dinner, not to mention the wrist bracelets and game tickets (also pre-purchased!) that cost us 45 smackaroos.  I may have to bring a flask.

In other news, I joined the 5minutesformom Ultimate Blog Party today.  Mostly to have some fun and make up for the fact that we have to go to the stupid carnival tonight.  Notice I am not the fun and games mommy the PTA wishes I would be.  In fact, I try and avoid the PTA like the plague, but that's another issue.

So, I think I'll be blogging a bit more than usual next couple of days.  Why not?  Its gotta be easier than an entire month, right?

Hi Party people from The Ultimate Blog Party!  I'm Jenny.  Around the internet I sometimes go by cadykansas.  Originally that was the name I gave myself on Ebay, Cady (pronounced like Katie) was my sweet german shepherd girl (RIP) and of course, I live in Kansas.

Although for a while there, like when I started this whole thing?  I moved to California, thus the title of the blog.  But we came back.  That's the uh, tinyurl version.

So! Welcome to Kansas.  Click around. Ask me questions.  Send wine.

( Nevermind that last one.  I live in Kansas, remember?  They don't allow that here.)

One other thing.  There are a couple of other new badges over there to the left, I've been blinging out mah blog lately in an attempt to stave off the winter blahs as I wait for spring.  (Today it snowed, dammit. I may be waiting a while.)  One of those badges is one I created myself, for my girlfriends over at Truebluewomen, a local Kansas City area women in action political group.  I like what they stand for, and what they have to say.   They follow a - let's call it - liberally progressive -  agenda that focuses on education, eco-development, and healthcare.  They mostly stay away from the really hot-button political issues that get people's panties in a wad, because I think we all know we can't save the world for our children by arguing morality.  I know what I believe, I understand what you believe, and we don't have to agree to be friends.  I'm okay, You're okay, let's sit back and have a drink.

I'll bring the flask.

Friday wine goodness: You know what? I'm not really in the mood to talk about wine.

(photo and description of the artist's play courtesy of UCSD Open Studio.  Wine, tater tots and the Russian Mafia have long interested Glenna Jennings. Guns really haven't. As a would-be pacifist, this wavering apathy/disdain toward weapons was put to the test when she inherited 15 hunting rifles and a few pistols after her father passed away in 2006. )

I found the picture above after tooling around on google image search looking for pictures of guns and wine.  I was hoping to find a wine label with a gun on it, as an appropriate seque from my Friday Wine Goodness theme, but I found this, and its totally awesome.

So, its been a difficult day, for a couple of reasons.  One, I read this morning on the local news that another child in the Kansas City area has been diagnosed with advanced stage Rhabdomyosarcoma, the same cancer which took our little friend Ben.  It is supposed to be a rare, one in a million type of cancer.  Yet we know of 5-6 children in the last two years alone, in Kansas City, to be affected with it.  It is brutal and horrible and I nearly started to cry reading the article, and several times during the day just thinking about it.  I cannot imagine another family going through this the way my friends have.  I cannot imagine a mother with the serenity and presence of mind to say "sometimes lilies only bloom once", having already arrived at what could be the horrifying truth of this diagnosis.

Then, the shooting at NIU yesterday, has left me angry and raw, and I don't even know anyone involved.  Add that to:

• The one earlier in the week in Baton Rouge (Oh look! girls are getting into the action, too.  Its not just boys and men who go nuts and shoot people.)
• The other one closer to home here in Missouri at a City Hall meeting
• The one where the fucking boy scout killed his entire family

You know what?  Here.  Just go check out the chart for yourself.  And this isn't even complete.  I can't stand it anymore.

I continue to want to rage against a self-righteous government who wants to spend $43 billion dollars on an un-winable war yet refuses, absolutely refuses to acknowledge we have an arms control problem in our own country.

Of course he went off his meds.  Of course he bought at least two of the weapons legally, IN THE LAST WEEK.  I would expect nothing less, in a country that holds the right to bear our precious guns ABOVE ensuring a minimum standard of healthcare insurance for children.  This doesn't shock me anymore.  It just makes me angry.  It makes me glad we have a decent Democratic candidate or two, who can inspire real change.

But It makes me sad.  Because deep down in my gut, where I don't want to talk about it, I don't know that I believe what the Democrats are saying, as much as I want to, way up here in the top of my heart. 

And now I'm going to go have a glass of wine.

Friday Wine Goodness: Suck it, Martha Stewart

I know, this is an old joke.  Its being going around the internet for years, along with that one about the Mom from Austin who's kids tried to hang from the ceiling fan in their Superman pajamas so they could fly.  It doesn't make them any less funny, or for that matter, any less descriptive of my life.  But guess what? Its Friday, and I've actually cut way back on the wine lately, (I KNOW, you're all shocked).  So I haven't been to the store to check out the fun labels lately.

The funny part, actually, is that my mom and I have referred to this joke in passing over the years to the point that we no longer tell the entire story, its become like an inside joke, and it never fails to make us all laugh. 

For instance, occasionally, my parents show up for dinner at my house, usually when they've been out of town and have no food at home, and also because they've been traveling they haven't seen the boys in several days, and this just doesn't work for my mother.  She must stop by my house on the way home from the airport and get her infusion of grandson love and kisses and then insolent tantrums, and also give them presents from her travels.  Somehow their travels always return them around dinner time, and so I offer to feed them and maybe give them an extra loaf of fresh bread and a gallon of milk so that they don't have to hit the grocery store on the way home just to get through breakfast the next morning, because I've been to Costco that VERY DAY, of course, and I am a good daughter.

Anyway, I keep little single serve bottles of my mom's favorite wine in my fridge, for just such occasions.  Single serve because I don't drink white zinfandel, and she rarely wants more than one glass, so this way I don't have a mostly full bottle of pink wine taking up space in my fridge.  So right about the time she moves to the fridge to serve herself, as mi casa es su casa, and my father is pacing around the kitchen island grumbling about when is the food going to be ready and aren't there any damn chips or hummus or something, I'll remind her her little bottle is in the door, and someone will say, "I'm sorry, leftover wine?"  And we'll all crack up.  And then I'll hightail it over to the pantry and get my dad a bag of chips before he kicks the dog.

Just kidding.  He doesn't usually kick the dog.  Hard.

*************************************************************************

Martha Stewart: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for pete’s sake. You’re probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Martha Stewart: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha Stewart: When a recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead of flour and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Women: Go to the bakery. They’ll even decorate it for you.

Martha Stewart: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess for an instant “fix me up.”
Real Women: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too darn bad. I made it and you will eat it.

Martha Stewart: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting it in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Real Women: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

Martha Stewart: Brush some beaten egg white over a piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don’t do it.

Martha Stewart: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women: Take a lime, cut it in half and mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Martha Stewart: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women: Go ask the very cute neighbor to open it for you.

Martha Stewart: Don’t throw away all that leftover wine. Freeze it into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women: Leftover wine?