We're not in Kansas Anymore, Toto.

Tales from IM: Priorities, Priorities, Priorities.

Cadykansas: if you doubt how crazy the leawood apple store will be tomorrow, summize "leawood"

T: k...

T: u want to see something big... summize iPhone, then wait to see how many "updates" pop up at the top of the screen in less than a minute.  It is crazy

Cadykansas: i mean just about that store opening

T: y i know

T: that same email went out to everyone in the KC metro who has an itunes account

Cadykansas: they know what they're doing

T: thats like, ummmm their entire addressable market

Cadykansas: you should be keep track of this stuff

T: y

T: random question

T: u talked with L lately?

Cadykansas: a few weeks ago she im'd me

Cadykansas: thing's seem to be fine

Cadykansas: y?

T: k

T: just wondering... if they would move back to KC if the stars were aligned and all

Cadykansas: over her dead body I think

T: really...

Cadykansas: she has no fam here anymore

T: well ok then

T: oh

Cadykansas: and she pretty much told him when they went out there this was the last move

Cadykansas: and his fam makes her have to load up on pscripts

T: lol

T: I may have to get up earlier than I thought to get a phone

Cadykansas: *eyeroll*

T: first 1000 people get a T-shirt--- woo hoo!

T: google image search Tokyo  iPhone it's crazy how many peeps are in line there

Cadykansas: I don't know, but we are leaving for the lake around 5:30 with or without you.

Cadykansas: so hope you get in by then.

T: y i know

Cadykansas: your iPhone craving does not supercede my relax on the dock with a drink craving. sorry.

T: wtfe

T: listen what ru doing with Max

T: helloooo?

Cadykansas:Sydney's Price Gouge - I mean Pet Spa

T: what they charge per day?  $ARM ?

Cadykansas: +Leg

T: 35?

Cadykansas: uhhhh

Cadykansas: one moment please

Cadykansas: no

Cadykansas: 22

T: oh thats not bad... 85 for a trim is bad

Cadykansas: that was not a trim

Cadykansas: it was a full boat shave, incl tip

T: oh, yeah, right,... sorry.  A shave. right.

Cadykansas: W

Cadykansas: you're the one who demanded a poodle for a dog

How to survive your 4th of July vacation.

Chapter One: Don't take one.

Moving On.

I don't know if you can tell, but that is not a river.  That is a flood plain, flooded to the max, very near the Mississippi River.  We saw a lot of this.

Seriously, I guess the only amazing thing about our quick and dirty trip to inner depths of the state of Alabama is that nothing really eventful happened.  Nobody puked in the car on the 12 hour ride down or back, not even the dog.  No one blew off part of their body playing with fireworks, although the dog did have to tolerate little boys throwing those little pop rock things at him to try and get a reaction.  They were frustratedly not successful as he was too busy panting his little tongue off laying at my feet. (My Uncle-In-Law: "What, is that dog on Quaaludes or something? Dang."

It was also quite amazing that apparently it was actually hotter in Kansas while we were gone than it was in Alabama.  Not more humid, but hotter.  It doesn't get anymore humid than Birmingham, Alabama in July.  And don't say Florida does! Because Florida has a beach and that's where normal people go on vacations, and I don't want to hear about it.

These are flowers from my MIL's garden, that my SIL planted for her which got her some kind of fabulous gardens of Birmingham garden tour award or something. Am jeluz of my SIL's mad gardening skills, but I guess she deserves it since she actually studied and took a test and earned a Master Gardener status, like, God. Over-achieve much? (I already said I'm jealous.)

Southern flower garden, with poodle.  Watch out for the bees, poodle!

Also to be found in Birmingham, is a life size chess game.  My 9 year old nephew totally schooled me on the rules of chess.  Me: Wait, what is that a rook? No, the knight! He moves diagonally, right? What's the horse guy called? Geez it's been a long freakin' time since I played chess. (That's me and my fat leg trying to escape the picture.)

Max would like you to know he's been very, very fucking patient with those kids dropping toys and food on him for the last 12 hours, and when are we going to be home so he can sleep in peace? *Yawn*


Will falls asleep just as we reach the outskirts of Kansas City. Perfect.

The triumphant return of How to IM with your husband.

(Now that my husband and I no longer work together, we've returned to our old habits of IM'ing in place of person to person communication.  Not sure what this means. See the category The Net for past references. )

Cadykansas: yt?

T: im here

Cadykansas: eta? not pushing, just wondering?

T: 7

T: best guess at this point

T: why whats goin on?

Cadykansas: just trying to have an idea. nothing

T: if it means u have to call a sitter agn I will come hm sooner

Cadykansas: 'no no no

Cadykansas: want go bed Rrrrleeeee

T: y damn skippy

Cadykansas: night night jenny

T: is it raining? im in my cave here

Cadykansas: apparently so DT area

Cadykansas: not here, yet

T: qui es DT?

T: Deutsche Telekom?

Cadykansas: dahntahn

T: n dat

Cadykansas: exactly

Cadykansas: you are Freidrich from club nautico?

T: hahaha

Cadykansas: Thats totally my rockband name.

Cadykansas: dude

T: so u workin on a list of influential bloggers for me then?

Cadykansas: ok boss.

Cadykansas: yea, sorta

T: i dunno who tf these people are

Cadykansas: i got it uploaded to google docs so i can haz it on laptop tonite

T: list

Cadykansas: pfft

Cadykansas: screw you guys, i'm going home.

T: good 2 c ur takin meds 2day

Cadykansas: pfft

Cadykansas: whirly birds and whistles over here

T: wtf

T: listen i gottas get some work doen ovah eah

Cadykansas: whatevs

T: and stop saying can haz

T: fulfilling the socnet stereotype with that one

Cadykansas: I'm in ur IM, gettn on ur nerves

T: might as well get a myspace pimped out page and sh*t

Friday wine goodness: Heart Healthy Linky Love.

So, we've all heard the reports that red wine is good for your heart.  There are many (try google, or digg).  But this one is the best I've ever seen:

Drinking wine can maintain heart health, prevent cancer and even settle a mean case of diarrhea. Research now shows it’s also good for your teeth and throat.

Sore throats! Gingivitis! (Er, nevermind the teeth staining part, that's why they invented Crest Whitestrips, yes?) And lo, diarrhea!  I KNEW there was a reason I love wine.  Maybe that will offset all those FiberOne bars I've been eating to try and lose weight.  Thanks to Bob Green and Oprah, who knew their world domination plan included keeping people in the bathroom all damn day.  Ahem. 

Anyway, other things are good for the heart, too, of course.  This is the part where I shamelessly plug my kid's fundraising efforts, Jump Rope for the Heart, sponsored by the American Heart Association.  If you're bored and feel like donating to his little online fundraising page, be my guest.  The online donation has a minimum of $25 though (greedy bastards) so if you want to do something but not that much, email me and I'll do it manually.

Also, speaking of links, you may have noticed a new little bauble up in my left sidebar, Feel Your Boobies!  (Yes you can say that on TV, as Heather says)  A breast cancer awareness site.  A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and this site is awesome.  I've long been a supporter of the Susan G. Komen Foundation, but hey, the more awareness we can get for this disease, the better.  Click away.  Feel free to drink and click, in fact!

(Could I get more links in this post?)

Its going to be rainy and stormy all weekend here, so it looks like no soccer or planting bushes for me .  I guess I'll have to stay in and drink wine and let Wii parent for me.

(Anybody love that Wii song as much as me? Lordy.)

(Although this one is hilarious!  Wii goes all Tarantino on your ass! Ha!)

Live! From Kansas City! Its Saturday Night!

Met some of my favorite friends from inside the box tonight for drinks and enchiladas at Mannys downtown.  Like Dorothy and her friend ChaCha (who tells one helluva great? horrible? dating story), Cagey, Average Jane, Dawn, Criquette, and of course, Bossy!  Very fun evening.  However, in true Me fashion, I didn't do anything I said I was going to do in the emails.  I didn't even show up on time.  I didn't drink margaritas, having decided beer was probably a safer bet.  And I didn't bring my camera, for to take lots of pictures of Cagey wearing her sombrero.  But I didn't forget it, either.  Alas, the camera was a casualty to the cute,  but too small purse. It was a choice.  And, the Treo camera? No flash, remember?  Worthless.

Hopefully one of the others got some decent shots. 
And!  Its supposed to be nice tomorrow!  Help me hope for Will to actually play a soccer game. Stay tuned.

If I only had a brain.

SIL: on my way to work- do you remember what you wanted me to look out for for Max?
Me: Yes, I remember. i need a brain. does Petco sell those? if you see a good deal let me know.
SIL: ?? explain.
Me: I've lost my mind.  Need new one.
SIL: O. We keep those up front by the register.  will get you one.
Me; LOL thx.

Fun with IM: sick day conversations with the spouse

cadykansas: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2008/02/fugtourage-1.html
cadykansas: dude is starting to look like the taliban
T: funny
T: he needs to change the blade on his razor- i think it's broken
cadykansas: little bit
cadykansas: i am starting to get bored
T: that means u are feeling better
cadykansas: but still dont have any energy to do anything about it
T: eat
T: gatorade
cadykansas: i had some cereal
cadykansas: propel
cadykansas: i watched all season one of buffy
T: holy shit
cadykansas: except the episode that was about clown demons
cadykansas: nfw
T: niiiiiice
cadykansas: i think maybe i take a nap now
T: sigh
cadykansas: later I write a blog post for dfb
T: i didnt get my usual mental health break away from here at mid day.  I think I may snap.
cadykansas: you b fine
cadykansas: hows your foot
T: it fuckin hurts
cadykansas: sorry
cadykansas: we are a mess
T: friggin turning purple and shit
cadykansas: and it always starts to hurt after youve been working out i noticed
T: not like this
cadykansas: maybe you need to do ellipticals instead of walking or soemthing
cadykansas: no pressure on the foot
T: maybe i should just call it in and get a fuckin walker
T: im 36 not 86
cadykansas: lol
cadykansas: its probly covered
T: stair chair
cadykansas: maybe u need a specialist
cadykansas: instead of a gen pract
T: oh, you mean a pill whore?
cadykansas: whatever works
cadykansas: thats pill pimp, you're the pill whore, technically
T: no im the john
cadykansas: wtfe
cadykansas: im going to sleep
T: the pimp is the pharmcy companies
cadykansas: oh here we go
T: me= john  doctor=whore cvs=crack dealer  Pfizer=Pimp Daddy
cadykansas: aren't you the republican here?  you're supposed to be for big  biz
T: just becuz i don't read fascist rags like NY Times doesn't make me a card-carrying, bible-thumping, starchy republican
T: i'm a nice republican
cadykansas: lol
T: and i can think for myself, thank u very much
cadykansas: a dying breed, no doubt
cadykansas: nightnight
T: enjoy your nap

Oh, I don't even KNOW.

Those crazy germans.This came into my stats this morning.  I may have to break down and have another cup of coffee over this one.

http://www.google.de/search?hl=de&q=funny+sex+toto&meta=

Fun with IM: Remodel project update

Me: FYI, I am finding shitloads of silverfish behind this other wall

Hubs: Live ones?

Me: Y Also lots of weird black dust on the insulation. Mold?

Hubs: What?

Me: The black stuff? is like itty bitty graphite pencil shavings

Me: I think its mold, its on the paperside of the insul.

Hubs: K I will look at it when i get home

Me: Ok, now am thinking the black stuff is silverfish eggs

Me: it fell all in my hair! am v squicked out

Me; getting in shower

How to annoy your husband 101: Text Messaging

Me: I'm going to store do you need anything

Him: Watch out for lewd cops

Me: lewd cops? are they pantsless?

Him: leawood gd. They are out today

Me: o

Me: But are they pantsless?

Him: hang up and drive