We're not in Kansas Anymore, Toto.

Shopping without hurting your feet - Wishpot.com

Check it - new post up at We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto reviews - Shopping, blogging, and social networking for moms over at Wishpot.com. 

Katie, bar the door. *

Lately, I've been looking for ways I can energize my writing habits, and stimulate my work habits into better production at the same time.  It's a little quiet around the office, and I've had a lot of trouble focusing - when the economy goes as far south as it has, my job gets very complicated and not really very much fun.  I have been blogging about careers and resumes and so forth on a blog for my company, but I've been really struggling with topics there lately.  So, I guess in an effort to give myself an avenue to write more, I've started guest posting in a couple of other places. 

Rita from Surrender, Dorothy has a new gig as the Kansas City blogger over at BeingSavvy.  She invited me to guest-post and I'm excited to have taken her up on it.  Today I guest-posted about taking your grass clippings to drop off at stables and feed the horses instead of putting them at the curb for trash pick-up.  Of course, someone instantly had something to say about that being a bad idea, go figure.  I've also posted some articles over at WorkitMom!, and hopefully will be able to make something happen with the folks over at Wishpot (go Jessica!)  If you don't know any of these sites, I fully recommend you take a looksee, I like them all.

So, all this extra writing will hopefully lead to something more interesting for me, too.  I'm feeling a little stagnant at work, summer has really gone to my head, so I'm hoping the extra stimulation will get me back on track.  We work better when we're busier, right?

Right?

* a southern phrase which means trouble is afoot.  See here if you've never heard the phrase.

The triumphant return of How to IM with your husband.

(Now that my husband and I no longer work together, we've returned to our old habits of IM'ing in place of person to person communication.  Not sure what this means. See the category The Net for past references. )

Cadykansas: yt?

T: im here

Cadykansas: eta? not pushing, just wondering?

T: 7

T: best guess at this point

T: why whats goin on?

Cadykansas: just trying to have an idea. nothing

T: if it means u have to call a sitter agn I will come hm sooner

Cadykansas: 'no no no

Cadykansas: want go bed Rrrrleeeee

T: y damn skippy

Cadykansas: night night jenny

T: is it raining? im in my cave here

Cadykansas: apparently so DT area

Cadykansas: not here, yet

T: qui es DT?

T: Deutsche Telekom?

Cadykansas: dahntahn

T: n dat

Cadykansas: exactly

Cadykansas: you are Freidrich from club nautico?

T: hahaha

Cadykansas: Thats totally my rockband name.

Cadykansas: dude

T: so u workin on a list of influential bloggers for me then?

Cadykansas: ok boss.

Cadykansas: yea, sorta

T: i dunno who tf these people are

Cadykansas: i got it uploaded to google docs so i can haz it on laptop tonite

T: list

Cadykansas: pfft

Cadykansas: screw you guys, i'm going home.

T: good 2 c ur takin meds 2day

Cadykansas: pfft

Cadykansas: whirly birds and whistles over here

T: wtf

T: listen i gottas get some work doen ovah eah

Cadykansas: whatevs

T: and stop saying can haz

T: fulfilling the socnet stereotype with that one

Cadykansas: I'm in ur IM, gettn on ur nerves

T: might as well get a myspace pimped out page and sh*t

Friday Wine Goodness: Screw Kappa Napa

Many of you know I was in a sorority in college, despite the fact that people who know me outside of that world would never peg me for a sorority girl.  But I went to a small university that was, at the time, almost 50% greek. It was hard to overlook.

And it was fun, albeit it had its annoying moments, and I made friends that I still stay in touch with.  It has helped me to make friends in every new town my husband has ever dragged me to: The first thing I do whenever we move is find a local chapter of my sorority alumni, and POOF! Instead friends with a common bond.  I get why some people are very  anti-greek, sororities and fraternities have always made it easy to be targets by their choice of behavior.  I happen to think, generally, that most of the horrible things that happen in the greek world (like deaths due to drinking, hazing, so forth) are actually not significantly higher in number than in the non-greek college world, but it gets reported more, see again: easy targets and stupid decisions over a history of lifetimes.**

Anyway, I guess my point is despite being a greek alumni myself, I still laugh at the jokes and innuendos, because they're funny, dammit.  If you can't make fun of yourself, then you're boring.  And this one is no exception:

 This is hysterical not only because of the play on the fraternity name, but because by virtue of the name, it also makes fun of the wine snobs.  Maybe only the second most deserving group of people to make fun of.

Don Sebastiani and Sons, the winery that brought us Smoking Loon wines, has been at it again.  And their goal in life, aside from making great wine and a decent price, is to not take themselves too seriously.  And let the wine world know it shouldn't, either.  Genius.  They've been a family winery since 1904.  Did you ever see that Keanu Reeves movie, A Walk in the Clouds?  I loved that movie.  Not necessarily for Mr. Whoa, but because that is what I imagine a family winery is like.  It seems so very romantic. (And also because, hello, Anthony Quinn!  I loved him.  The original Ethnic Everyman actor, like John Turturro is now.)

Not all that romantic, however, they also make this one, which doesn't even have a descriptor other than its a red table wine:

I can only imagine its wine made up from leftover things, sort of a fountain drink suicide of wines, if you will.  And I plan to look for it in a store near me, perhaps just for the label.

**Yes, thank you, I am aware of the irony of defending the greek system while discussing wine, which is, uh, an alcoholic beverage.  Just go with it. 

Funny Face.

You may remember this post, a conversation with Cagey in which I showed her the photographic evidence of my youngest's eating habits.  Were you wondering if he's gotten any better, now that he's five and a half?

That would be a no.

Losing My Religion.

This morning in the car on the way to day camp.

Will: Mom, what are they building there?
Drew: Probably another bank. (this is a long standing joke, construction in our area means a new bank on almost every single corner.  Its bizarre.)
Me: ...
Will: Mom, what is THAT building?
Me: That's a Jewish church.  They call it a Synagogue.
Will: Oh!  Mom, I forgot to tell you.  Me and Drew want to be Jewish.
Me: ...?
Drew: What? I do not.
Will: Yes! Remember, we talked about it with that boy who was playing on the swingsets at Suburban's.
Drew: Oh yeah.  Okay.
Me: Uh, okay.  Why do you say that, honey?
Will: Because when you're Jewish you get to speak all kinds of different languages.  That's what Jacob told us, he was a kid we met at Suburban's when you were buying new plants.
Me: Hmmm. Alright.  Well, yes, they have different languages they speak, its called Yiddish, or Hebrew.  But you know, Jewish people don't believe in Jesus.

Drew and Will: WHAT?
Me: Yes, well, they believe he was a man, a teacher, who lived about 2000 years ago, but they don't believe he was the Son of God.
Will: Why?
Drew: Oh yeah, they don't celebrate Christmas.
Me: (getting into unknown territory) It's just not part of what they believe.
Will: Oh. (thinking.)
Will: Mom, can we learn other languages at our church?
Me: Well, you're learning Spanish at school, aren't you?
Will: No, at church!
Me: We don't really have other languages at our church. 
Me: (turning up the music...)

Qu'elle surprise.

Thanks to Surrender Dorothy and Average Jane for a little mid-afternoon fucking around opportunity.

Created by OnePlusYou

This should surprise exactly no one who's ever read to the bottom of my 100 Things about me list.

Proof is in the pictures.

This is my sideyard before:

I know, right?  totally ugly, foundation concrete and weird fireplace box sticking out.  Yuck.  We know there was enough room to make a daylight basement here, the builder just didn't to save money (house was a spec, not sold before build out...)  Eventually we may add daylight windows if we finish the basement.

Anyway.  Moving On!

And now. Yes, I rock, I know. Literally. Its better - you can still see the foundation and all, but the garden and wall distracts the eye, at least.

(Too be fair, the first pic was taken before spring had kicked in so things look much less lushy than now, with all the rain)
I'm rather proud of myself.  In other news, Look!  A poodle, playing in an unfenced yard, without a leash!

A rather tired poodle, I might add, since I'd been throwing the tennis ball in the 80% humidity until he couldn't run anymore and just laid down.  He's such a wuss.  Anyway, POINT IS, he hung out with us in the yard, and didn't bolt.  I'm a big proponent of remote control shock collars now, people.  I have the dog I wanted - one who obeys.  Its wonderful.  By the way, Max had his one year Vet check up while I was off last week.  He weighs 65 lbs.  He was supposed to be no more than 55lbs.  Oops.  Monster Poodle!

Also, the tennis ball throwing?  If you don't have one of these, you are totally working too hard. Genius.

And finally:

Drew and Will saying cheese from World's of Fun/Camp Snoopy.  This picture snapped shortly before daddy (behind them) was asked to exit the ride. "You're supposed to have a child riding with you, sir."  That's right, my husband got kicked off a kiddie coaster.  He rawks.

(Company employee day at WoF, everyone had matching corporate logo shirts, if you're wondering why everyone is yellow.  The logo itself I will not show you.  Remember, I toljoo no blogging about new job.  Am a good girl.)

Anyway, I tend to dress my kids alike when we venture out into such a sea of humanity, because it makes them easier to spot and also if I lose one, I can show the police "he looks just like this one right here!"  But as I knew everyone in the entire company got a yellow t-shirt, which did sort of make me hyperventilate, I made them wear red hats for higher visibility.  I also quizzed them on my cellphone number the entire walk into the park from the car.  Am a spaz, I'm aware.  But, its happened before, It could happen again.

Its been...one week since you looked at me.

Yes, I am still alive.  Better, in fact, than when you last heard from me, which is a bonus, for all of us.  I took a week of vacation, and finished a couple of small projects.  And by small, I mean a landscaping project which involved 950 lbs. of Kansas limestone, 800 lbs. of topsoil, and a bunch of new plants.  No, I did not have any of that stuff delivered, I loaded it into my minivan and unloaded it at the house using the wheelbarrow and umpteen trips down the hill. Yes, I built a raised flower bed against the side of my house, by myself.  Yes, I'm crazy.  But I got my rocking yoga arms back, in a mere three days.  Advil is my friend.

I also finished building, staining and gluing the lego table that I built for the boys.  And I painted some cubbies I had in storage and put them in the laundry room to help control the chaos of  50 pairs of little boy's flip flops from Old Navy.  I also did a crapload of laundry, cooked several meals, and we made it to the pool every day for swimming lessons and general water play. 

I did not, as you may have noticed, blog much.  I tweeted here and there, from the Treo, whenever the urge struck me.  But since I fell into bed every single night exhausted, sunburned and sore, I didn't leave time for blogging.  We also had the unfortunate problem of some sort of cable outage which struck on Wednesday, so I couldn't get a decent wifi signal to the laptop, and see above re: too exhausted to sit at the PC rather than the comfort of my bed. 

I didn't read your blogs much either, as I had 170 new posts in my google reader earlier this evening when the cable finally kicked back in and I dragged the laptop with me to bed.  I got through most of them, in the reader, mostly skimming and not taking the time to comment, I am sorry. 

By the way, the reason the cable was out was not actually because of the storms on Tuesday, as I had suspected.  No, dear husband figured out today that someone had flipped the light switch in the basement that the cable amplifier is hooked into.  This happens to be the same switch, you may recall, that powers our chest freezer.  Yes, once again, I have a freezer full of bad food going out with the trash this week.  After we argued about which one of us flipped the switch, we figured out it was actually Drew, because we had sent him down to turn off the lights in the basement, which he dutifully did.  Oops.  Go figure. 

Yesterday we took the boys to Worlds of Fun for the day. Pictures of that coming soon. 

So, once I get the proof pictures of the camera of the flower bed, the lego table and the rest, I'll post them here.

Whew.  Tomorrow to go back to work.  I haven't yet decided if I've missed it. Stay tuned.

How to remind yourself you are a WOMAN.

Dear Dad, this is not a post for you.  Please go here instead  Love, Jen)

Ever have that feeling that you've forgotten what it's like to be a woman?  That frumpy, blahs feeling, like you haven't bothered to shave your legs for a while, or wear high heels, or put on lipstick other than Chapstick?  Need a good, solid reminder that you are, indeed, a W-O-M-A-N?

Have I got a plan for you.

Without thinking things through well, schedule the following during the week you are pre-menstrual:

1. A week of vacation to stay home with your kids - so that they can drive you crazy an extra eight hours a day, when you have less ability to cope emotionally than normal.
2. A mammogram - when your boobs are good and swollen and sore
3. A bikini wax - when your skin is the most sensitive it could possibly be than at any other time within a month.  So sensitive, in fact, that much of the entire top layer of skin rips off right along with the wax and hair. 

Hey, I didn't say it was a good way to remind yourself you are a woman.  I just said it's a REMINDER.

I'm here to help.